Book Review: It's Not Okay by Andi Dorfman

After watching all of the drama between Nick Viall and Josh Murray on Bachelor in Paradise last summer, where Andi Dorfman’s book It’s Not Okay was brought up repeatedly, I added said book to my reading list. It’s no surprise to anyone that I love the Bachelor franchise. I love watching reality television in general because people are just so fascinating. The way different people approach life is just so interesting, and often laughable, and watching 30 new suitors try to win the heart of someone the audience got to know only weeks prior, is just plain fun.

I watched Andi on Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor, applauded her powerful exit from that season, cheered for her as The Bachelorette, and agreed with her choice of Josh Murray for the final rose. When news broke that she and Josh had parted ways, I felt a little sad because, of course, I root for these people to make it off screen (everyone loves a success story), but I didn’t feel that surprised. The Bachelorette is reality television after all, and building a lasting relationship in only eight weeks with cameras all around seems pretty unlikely.

I was, however, fairly surprised and feeling in the dark when repeated references to Andi’s book began to be thrown around on season 3 of Bachelor in Paradise, which featured her two final men, Josh Murray and Nick Viall. They made it sound like she had spilled quite a few details in the book (true) and the nosy person within me had to find out what those were.

It's Not Okay by Andi Dorfman 

It's Not Okay

It took me quite a bit of time to get around to picking up It’s Not Okay, but with a new season of The Bachelorette airing, I knew now was the time, so I dove right in. It was a very quick, easy read, though I would only recommend it to those who are already fans of the show.

The book is framed as a journal/ diary being kept following Andi’s breakup with Josh. The weirdest part is how Andi’s exes, at least the Bachelor/Bachelorette ones are all referred to as numbers rather than their names as if that will protect their identity. (They are clearly identified, however, so you do know exactly who Juan Pablo, Nick, and Josh all are). It also seems to be written as a self-help book for getting through a breakup, though I’m not sure the advice given is all that helpful.

If you can get past those aspects, however, and want to delve deeper into who these people are when they’re off-screen, this is a fun little book. It’s not going to change your life, unless you were thinking about signing up for a reality television dating show, but it might entertain you and give you another perspective on a show you’re already glued to every Monday night.

I gave this book 2 out of 5 stars on Goodreads (where you can follow me to always see what I’m reading) because although I didn’t find it as substantive as I was hoping for, it did pull me in with the gossipy tidbits. I finished It’s Not Okay thinking they all seem exactly like the kind of people you would find on a reality television dating series, including Andi, and still baffled by the fact that she would easily walk into Lululemon and purchase an entire workout outfit just because, which was casually mentioned, but $33 for Dior lipstick was a crazy splurge that was repeatedly brought up throughout the book.

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